Mindful and Mindless communication techniques are two different styles of communication when relating to one another. Mindful communication is “a mental and relational activity that is both purposeful and strategic.”(345) Mindless communication on the other hand is what I refer to as “lazy” superficial conversation. I refer to mindless conversation as lazy because you don’t have to put forth much energy or thought process when communicating. Likewise your attention span and listening skills are equally lazy because there really is no interest to think. I also include mindless conversation into another category, the one where you don’t know someone very well and the situation is uncomfortable. Mindless communication also comes into play when trying to avoid awkward silence while still trying to build some sort of social connection.
Mindful communication is a strength and a skill because it forces you to identify and communicate with others on a deeper level. I don’t mean intimately, but going beyond the superficial surface. Mindful conversation forces people to get to know one another better, have a clearer understanding of the organization around them, and thus places you into a better position to be respected as a person who generally has concern for others and not just themselves. Mindful communication takes work and dedication to really become proficient, it doesn’t happen overnight.
I believe that some of the best supervisors and leaders in the organization that I work at are those that take the time to know the people that work for them on a deeper level. For example, I had a supervisor early in my career that recognized my weaknesses and took the time to work with me to make me one of the highest producers on the team. The supervisor got to know me and worked on taking me out of my comfort zone, when he did this it forced me to overcome some of my challenges. In return I became a more effective worker and the organization benefited from my work. If the supervisor had not taken the time to develop a relationship with me and communicate with me regarding my challenges and needs, I may not be with the organization today. Instead he motivated me, challenged me, and made me a better employee. Today, I am a supervisor and I look back on my experience with him and try to use mindful communication to work with others in the organization.
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You have some interesting thoughts on “mindful communication”. I agree that it is more work than mindless “how are you, I am fine” exchange. I had a colleague who likes to spend a lot of time at social gatherings being aware of “real communications”. Instead of asking the typical questions like “what do you”, “where do you live”, etc, she likes to ask things like “what is your favorite thing to do one weekends” “where is a good place to for Mexican food near here.” By asking people questions that they don’t normally get, it makes both participates engage in more meaningful communication.
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